My Hair

Okay so I hate my hair. Maybe hate is a strong word. Frustrated is a better word. That is because I feel like I only have one hair style that works and my hair doesn't grow. That's why how I choose to style my hair is very emotional for me. I hate letting my hair out and let it be at its natural state. I don't like that fro on me. I think that other people rocking their fro is so gorgeous. Just not on me. I don't like it and I feel very uncomfortable. Letting someone seeing me with my fro is the equivalent of letting someone see me naked. The fact is that I would let someone naked before I would let them see me with my fro. That's how self conscious I feel about it.

I have always had short hair. I remember having cornrows once as a kid and I used to go to the salon to straighten my hair. Even got a home kit and got it done at home. Now I know the damage that that does to your hair so I don't want to do it. I want to try and keep my hair as natural and healthy as possible. I don't even use a hair straightener anymore, because that does a lot of damage as well (plus it takes at least forty minutes do straighten my hair that way).

This (the picture above) is how I usually style my hair - Sorry for the lack of pictures on this subject but as I said my hair is an emotional thing for me.

I remember this one time when I was at the salon getting a perm. The chemicals that was in the cream that was supposed to make my hair straight was so strong that it felt like my scalp was on fire. Like the good little girl that I was and still am I didn't say anything. The hairdresser doing my hair saw that my scalp was fire red so she asked if I felt any irritation. We have saying in Sweden that goes like this "Vill man vara fin så får man lida pin" which kind of translates into "If you want to look nice you have to suffer the pain". So that's what I thought while my scalp was on fire, that I had to suffer through the pain in order to be beautiful. Though the chemicals are strong, it's not normal for it to hurt like that so the hairdresser washed it out.

My hair is very emotional to me. Through the years I have styled it different ways by how I felt comfortable doing it at the time. Now I have two hairstyles that I vary between. Mostly just one. I mostly do embedded braids and then sometimes on rare occasions I put my hair in a bun. I feel like my hair only looks good in a bun when I have worn my hair in braids all day. When I do that my hair gets a different texture so it's kind of straight/ wavy when I take out the braids. So there aren't as much frizz when I put my hair in a bun.

What I do now to treat my hair is that I wash it three times a week. When I wash it I use conditioner first, then shampoo and then conditioner again. That has made my hair softer. Shampoo actually dries out your hair and rip it of its natural oils. Using conditioner first creates a barrier that protects your hair from that. Using conditioner a second time adds the extra barrier to protect your hair from becoming dry and frizzy. It may sound like a lot that I wash my hair three times a week but I use olive oil (just regular olive oil that I also use for cooking) to keep my hair moisturized. That works really well but it also makes my hair kind of greasy. That's why I have to wash it three times a week to keep it fresh.

I really do wish that I could do more with my hair. But my hair is short and doesn't grow so the options are very limited. It really makes me sad thinking about it. If you have any tips for how to make my hair grow, be stronger and healthy I am all ears.

your writer, Erika


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