Welcome to Erika's World

That's it! Now I am completely caught up with season eight of Keeping Up with The Kardashian's. Now all I have to do is wait for Sunday, well Monday (I have to wait for it to be up online) until I can watch a new episode. Who else here is a Kardashian/ Jenner fan? I mean when the show first started airing in Sweden I was all excited because I had heard so much about it and when I watch the first episode I was kind of disappointed you know. I mean I didn't hate it but I was kinda like "Oh? This is it?" Yeah you know but now I love it. I don't know about love exactly, but I to enjoy watching the show. Which I do do. On Wednesday there is a new episode from season seven (last season) airing on TV11 in Sweden. I prefer watching TV shows on the TV than on my computer. Yeah so, um, yeah this is actually the first season of KUWTK that I have watched online. I have seen a few episodes of the Kourtney and Kim Take Miami that aired earlier this year.

You know what I am kind of bummed out right now! You know why? (Of course you don't) There isn't going to be another season of Top Model Sverige (Sweden's Next Top Model). Like, hmm, I wanted to apply. Not that I think that I would have a chance in hell to get on the show. But anyway, like I have been really determined about this. Like I WANT TO, you know. Hahaha. I mean I think, I mean for me it's like 60% that I want to be on the show and 40% that I actually want to be a model. I kinda want to be a runway model more than I want to be a photo shoot model (if you know what I mean, I am not a model so I don't know the official lingo). Of course I want to do photo shoots to but I love runways. Hahaha. I don't know, I just kind of wish that I was talented enough so that I was something already so that I didn't have to worry about college and work and all the fucking shit. Like OMG already! But yeah yeah, I guess.

It is so weird though. After high school I couldn't wait to back my bags and head off to California (I guess that's normal for any 19 year old) now I just don't know anymore. I mean I have gotten attached to so many things since the last time I went to Cali. Things that have come to mean a great lot to me. I just don't know. I feel like I can't just pick up and leave all of those things behind. It's like I am not even trying and that I am giving up. Also like I am going to disappoint myself and yeah, all those things that have come to mean so much to me. Which is so stupid because they probably couldn't care less, but what do I know. OMG, I just hate these feelings! The worst is that is in my own head and I am the only one that can come up with a solution but I just don't know and I just want to cry and hug someone and hope that someone can help me which they can't. Aaaaaah! I get so frustrated that I just want to throw my computer across the room. I mean it is not helping that I am blogging about it, which is making/ forcing me to think about all of this. Fuck you, fuck all of this, fuck everybody! Hahaha, I am so silly. The typical Erika. This is my life, like for real. Welcome to Erika's World. The world of Erika.

your writer, Erika


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